EMBRACING WISE HOPE: HOW TO HAVE HOPE IN DIFFICULT TIMES
Hope.
What does it mean to be hopeful?
Is it a powerful feeling that motivates us to keep going through hard times?
Does it mean we give up our agency for creating change in our lives and just hope that things get better?
Does it mean that feeling negative and helpless disconnects us from the possibility of hope?
How does hope pan out in your life? Are you afraid of feeling hopeful out of fear of being let down and disappointed? Or is hope the thing that keeps you going through your darkest hours?
Hope means different things for different people at different points in our lives.
Here are a few famous quotes about hope that highlight how this feeling impacts people in different ways:
“You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us. And the world will live as one.”
― John Lennon
“Hold fast to dreams,
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird,
That cannot fly.”
― Langston Hughes
“It's really a wonder that I haven't dropped all my ideals, because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart.”
― Anne Frank, The Diary of a Young Girl
“Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.”
― Emily Dickinson
The hope that I feel in these quotes is a very deep hope. It’s a hope that humans are innately good, a hope that dreams and aspirations are worth having, and a hope that peace is a possibility.
Hope is powerful.
And…hope is scary.
When we hope for basic goodness, dreams realized, and world peace, we can feel immensely disappointed when our hopes are shot.
It can be easy to fall into extremes with hope. We might feel like we must genuinely feel hope and be positive all of the time, or we sink to the other side of hopelessness where we lose hope altogether.
What if I told you there is a more balanced experience of hope? It's a departure from forced positivity or solely future-oriented dreaming, and it’s not afraid to hope, either. It invites us to pause and reflect on our deepest desires for this precious life we've been given.
It’s Called Wise Hope
Wise hope gently asks us to consider: What are our truest aspirations? What do we long for at the core of our being? It's about reconnecting with our innermost hopes and dreams, free from the distractions of past regrets or future anxieties.
In this reflective journey, we're encouraged to explore how our deepest aspirations are already intertwined with our present reality. It's a recognition that fulfillment isn't solely reserved for some distant future achievement but can be found in the richness of each moment, right here and now.
Drawing from personal experience, it's easy to fall into the trap of perpetual longing for a future moment when everything will fall into place. Yet, wise hope gently reminds us that we are already whole and complete in this moment, imperfectly perfect as we are. As Shunryu Suzuki wisely put it, "You are already perfect, and there's room for improvement."
Wise hope encourages us to hold space for both our present contentment and our future aspirations, navigating the delicate balance between acceptance and growth.
So, amidst the busyness of life, take a moment to breathe, to connect with your deepest aspirations, and to trust in the guiding light of wise hope on your journey to fulfillment and self-discovery.
Please enjoy this guided meditation on cultivating wise hope. (Please note: I have since left Kestrel Wellness, the clinic listed in this image.)
Wise Hope, as taught by Tara Brach, is a beautiful three-step process that really helps us get clear on what's important:
1. Aspiration
2. Attending
3. Action.
We start with deeply connecting to our aspirations.
We may aspire for something in the future, and this is perfectly normal and, in fact, helpful, but this practice reminds us that an aspect of what we aspire towards, even if it’s small, is already within us, right now.
For example, those in the performance arena often have goals for the future. "I want to qualify for this competition...I want to break this record...I want to make this amount of money." This practice asks the question, "What is the desire beneath these goals? " Maybe answers arise such as, "I want to reach my fullest potential...I want to feel good about myself...I want to feel safe and secure."
Once we have connected with this deeper aspiration, we begin asking, "Where in my life are my aspirations already present?"
Maybe we recall recent moments of feeling good about ourselves or have noticed parts of our bodies or experiences in this moment that already feel safe and secure.
Once we recognize that what we strive for is already available in the here and now, we can relax a little bit, and without the pressure of expectation or the future, we can get clear on how we want to take action to cultivate these deeper desires within ourselves and share them with the world.
What would it feel like to live from this place of wise hope more often?
We can still long for world peace while also nurturing peace within ourselves right now.
We can dream about beautiful things in the future while also acknowledging the beauty and abundance in the present moment.
We can hope for the essence of humanity to be good while we connect with the goodness that is already here.
Try the meditation, and I encourage you to explore this practice in your days to come. Let me know how it goes!
Theresa Kulikowski-Gillespie, PA-C
Theresa is a functional medicine physician assistant, mindfulness meditation teacher, author, and owner / founder of My Mindful Medicine. Theresa is also an army veteran, military spouse, mother, and former elite & collegiate gymnast.
